ovemberr 2011

Well its one step forwards then fall backwards! I had an MS relapse. It has made me feel nauseous and interfered with my vision. While it is uncomfortable I do not have any pain & I can see, just not as well as before.

today I am going to the nuerologist & he wants me to start on the new oral medication that has just come on the pbs, I think I might! I do like to be able to see, drive, read and function.

The tricky part for me is the was the symptoms fluctuate throughout the day & night. I felt almost normal before bed last night, but unwell in the night. MS is a strange companion.

Feel like I need to learn againwhat I can do for my own wellness, which is a good thing.

Here we go again!

After trying the paleo diet for 6 - 9 months, struggling a sugar addiction all the while, I ended up with another bout of SIBO, constipation and outrageous heartburn and amine intolerance! Not fun.
I did not feel like a failure to quit as it just wasn't working.
Now I am eating bread & rice and can enjoy a lot more variety in my diet, within some unfortunate boundaries.

I am still having trouble with heartburn & constipation (periodically).

I have been seeing a naturopath and she now thinks I may have heavy metal poisoning, I cam e home with the pathology forms to get tested at my convinience...here we go again!

Feeling lousy again!

Have been having ongoing problems with energy levels, fatigue, constipation and I had another lot of hives in the last few weeks.

Not fun.

Have been to the doctor. He wrote out some laxatives to try.
Have been to the naturopath and I told her I thought I was having trouble with the SIBO. That was last week but now I am not so sure.
Have, today, been & had Bowen therapy. The practioner has a gluten & dairy intolerance, breaks out in rashes & is interested in all things diet & health.

I think I am overloaded with amines, again.

I went on the low chemical diet & that cleared up my reactions, so promptly forgot about it. It's back!

Time for me to go on a low chemical (amines specifically) diet and set myself some guidelines I think.

Looking forward to feeling better, again.

Jaw & hand pain...OOOwwww!

I waas at the doctor last week & told hime of my jaw pain. It hurts, aches actually, on the right side. I has been getting worse recently& my right hand also aches. My upper middle back hurts too, what is going on?

I have sleeping with my fist clenched under my pillow on my right side, that is what is going on! I have also been attempting to read 50 books in a year.

Sleeping is causing the

Reading!

This year I have been attempting to read 50 books! I like reading & have enjoyed some 22 books so far, but..

The way I sit while I read causes me upper middle back pain. Drat. I either need to find a new way to posture myself while I read or read less.

What would you do?

I've tried physio, massage and perscription drugs.

How does one learn to sit and read another way?

I lost something along the way...

I was talking with some Mums yesterday & one was hanging it on the other & they were laughing. Pretty normal stuff. I am overly serious and after years of my attempted jokes back firing I don't have the confidence to be playful like in conversation anymore. Whether things are as I think I am not sure, my dialogue internally is negative and that, not situations or confrontations with people, is the bigger problem. I have certainly had some reactions from people, but not many, and not enough to leave all bent out of shape.

Have I lost part of me?

The fun lighthearted part?

Where has it gone & can it be coaxed back?

I'd just like the voices in my heard that go over everything I do & say to 'shut up' for a while so I can relax and be me. They don't serve me they harm me and tell me I am not normal, creepy, a pest, a bit weird etc. Enough!

Where is the off switch please?

Cancer & Goal setting

CANCER
I was talking with my husband yesterday when he switched channel to avoid a sad ad that sees a little boy left by his Mum & then goes on to see him there alone & crying amidst the people. The point being that what about those who love you when you die from cancer due to smoking. I got thinking, the only person I knew who died of a smoking related death died some years AFTER quitting.

Bonnie was a simple lady who had lived a hard life but loved with everything in her. My path crossing Bonnies was a great blessing to me. Most notably was the conversation I recall when she was in hospital. Bonnie how are you? O Karen I'm no good 9or words to that effect). For some reason her honesty about her situation really stayed with me & has endeared me to her all the more. Bonnie was a Christian and was a passionate worshipper, her child like faith and genuine character have touched me again even as I recall her. It is a loving memory that warms my heart.

GOAL SETTING
I have been setting goals for some time as my doctor said I was gaining weight, I got to just over 100 kg's.
I set a goal for myself of 70 kgs and that was December 2009. Come mid 2010 I was just under 80kg's and had settled there & was no longer trying to lose weight. Comments from my family & friends influenced me & I just gave in to my love of food & indulged. Now it is April 2011 & at the end of March 2011 I was 82.5kgs and that is no longer OK. I have reset my focus on 70kgs and have been eating only til satisfied, like I did last time to lose weight and hope to see good results. I have more energy and am generally more positive as I have taken ownership. I also see that I had been indulging in self pity in regards to health issues rather actually doing something about them or even something for myself. No more.
My first goal is to be 81kg by 30th Aprl 2011
Then lose 1 kilo a week until I am 77kgs by 25th July 2011, my 42nd birthday.
Big picture goal is to be low 70's to high 60's by 30 April 2012.

I have rewards for milestones like a facial, pedicure, reflexology and a trip to Peninsula Hot Springs, which I have been wanting to go to for some time.
Other rewards are trip to art galleries & shows, long walks, gardens, a good book
& coffee (with a friend of course). Not forgetting new clothes along the way.

The hot springs may make a good birthday reward, we can all go!

This is for life, I can do it and I am worth it!

Off for a walk in the sunshine now!

Thinking well...

I have been reading & doing a course & one of the facillitators keeps using the word 'ruminating'. I have thought about this without deliberatley doing so. I have come to the idea that I am worse off for thinking so much about my health. Thinking over & over that there must be something else wrong cannot be helpful.

So I need to change my thinking.

That is the first step to change (so I hear) acknowledging the need for change.
I need to change!

What are the benefits of changing my thinking?
I don't put energy into feeling unwell, mental energy.
I will talk about my health less, leaves me more time to talk about other things.
I will have more energy for other things & (hopefully) others!
I can focus my thoughts on how to 'feel' better.
Finally, who knows I may even feel physically better.

Playin Jane!