Heavy title huh?
I had a light bulb moment yesterday in the quiet moments after work.
It went like this.
I had corrected someone again, and was wondering why I did that. I teach cooking to primary students & the adult helpers are vital to the classes & thier success. I had noticed that I regularly correct the helpers & was mortified that I could do such a thing. We are in great need of all the help we can get. It just didn't make sense to me & I was pondering it.
Were this someone elses problem I would have said (& thought) imagine how it is for them, knowing their thoughts too would be critical of themselves. Aha...
I had also been pondering a boy in our basketball team. He joined this season & was instantly a great player who scored lots of points. He had watched lots of games on the TV and believed he could do it, then as the weeks went on he scored less & less, sometimes even not scoring at all. To me he is a living example of belief in action and also of doubt creeping in & seeing its unproductive effect.
I finished a series of sessions with a good psychologist on Monday & felt great. I was confident & breezed through the days even though my main support person, my live in partner, was away. He words of praise & encouragement bouyed me through the days easily.
Thursday is my work day & said partner was home again Wednesday, I was tired & had woken with anxiety driven thoughts in the night, very critical & oft repeated words of destuction inside my own head that had been going on for some 6 years.
I had also been listening to Eckhart Tolle on audio CD in the car. The audio quality is poor yet I enjoyed what I did hear and it bought me some peace & a new perspective.
Point is I am a thinker & always look for ways to fix my problems. Anxiety has been a problem for some years now, it comes with MS & SIBO & Graves disease. That is why I was back at the psychologist to get yet more coping stategies.
My aha moment... So as I sat reflecting on self critisism the thought came to talk back to it, over the top of it & on purpose to myself in words of praise & encouragement rather than let the inner critic talk freely. I decided to be proactive & felt myself rise up.
I am seeing already the effects of the critic on my kids & I don't like it. I asked myself about helping my younger child & came up with extra touch & finding ways to laugh together. That gave me confidence in my inner wisdom.
Think positive. Speak words of praise & power to myself over & over on the issues that anxiety has raved to me on, it has ranted and sought to annihilate me. It didn't win. I am dusting myself off & regrouping to forge ahead with y new positive mindset. I can think positive, its the same as thinking negative only with a smile and worthwhile results.
I can do this. Anyone can.
I have been reading self help books for 20 years, listened to so many audio books & repeated affirmations. Now I simply chose to think positive as I finally have had enough of anxiety's unrelenting rants and destuctive voice that I am not going to leave it unanswered. I am a good person & a caring mother, wife, employee, daughter and I choose to think positive and believe in myself.
A book that helped make this real is the Farmers Wife by Rachael Treasure, its a story not a self help book. Yet is also a roadmap for change & now I am seeing it play out in scenes from Offspring to Winners & Losers. I love it.
Women rise up! Be your own greatest fan and cheer yourself on every step of the way. You are powerful and capable and have much to add to the people around you. You make a difference and you are an overcomer. You can do it.
There is an energy that comes with these empowering thoughts. I love it.